Marriage 101
by cookie-nookie-chan
Summary: One shots about Ichiruki as a married couple.
1. Chapter 1

Set about a few years after Aizen's defeat. Ichigo and Rukia are married, and Ichigo is now working in Ishida's hospital as one of the head surgeons.

STAWBERRY WHITEMOON

Kurosaki Ichigo is shunpoing as if there is no tomorrow.

Silently cursing at the distance Ishida's Hospital is to his home, trying to shake the immeasurable fear forming inside his body with every second that pass. _Be safe.. Rukia. Please._

He was in the middle of a by-pass heart operation when he felt Rukia's surge of reiatsu, followed by the unsheathing of her zanpakutou. It was only a matter of seconds when he felt Sode No Shiyaruki's first dance - "White Moon". His body tensed as Rukia kept using her 'first release', almost every five minutes. He was at the brink of total wreck when Ishida suddenly appeared beside him, wearing his gloves and surgery masks, nudging him to go home to check his family. He can't recall if he was even able to thank his quincy friend, what he remembered though is that he probably had broken the Guinness record's fastest human to spirit transformation for he was in his shinigami form in almost one second.

It could be a menos grandes, or another arrancar – for Rukia will _never _release her zanpakutou just to defeat an ordinary hollow especially when she is with their sons. Even after Aizen's death few years ago, and the destruction of the houyogku, they had remained vigilant for the possibility of having a new 'breed' of hollows, and what a perfect time for these kinds of hollow to attack. _Argh. _Where is his freaking son of a bitch father when he needed him most? The orange haired substitute shinigami frustratedly thought. The old pervert has been constantly inviting himself in their house for the past few weeks, and he – Kurosaki Ichigo has been literally kicking him out every chance that he gets.

Ichigo clutched Zangetsu tightly as he turned towards their house, feeling more and more anxious with the eerie silence that greeted him as he entered their living room,

"RUKIA?"

"RUKIA??" another surge of panic started attacking him, when no one answered his call.

He started walking around the room, keeping an eye to sudden movements around him, but still, no signs of Rukia nor his twins. Finally deciding that he is not liking any of these, he gripped Zangetsu with his both hands and shouted..

_BAN-KAI!!_

As the smoke of his bankai cleared, a certain raven haired shinigami suddenly kicked him in the shin, leaving him bewildered, lying on the floor.

"What the.. R-Rukia? The kids..?"

"What do you think you're doing baka?! Going bankai mode inside the house?! Why are you here anyway?! Don't you have a by-pass something something at the hospital??" A glaring Kuchiki Rukia pressed her foot on his chest, making him immovable for a moment.

"I… I.. S- Sode No Shiyaruki's first dance.. I thought you're in danger.." obviously still under the state of shock, Kurosaki Ichigo looked confusedly at his wife who is now starting to laugh uncontrollably.

"Wh-What's so funny?! I was worried, you bitch! I left an important operation and you're just going to laugh at my face?! What's happening here Rukia??" the orange haired shinigami started picking himself up and glowered at his _Mrs_ Kurosaki who is now laughing maniacally, tears flowing freely from her eyes.

"I… I never thought you'd panic like that.. doing.. bankai on the living room..HILARIOUS! .. I can't.. wait to tell Renji..or Nii-sama.." Rukia tried to reply in between laughing and wiping her tears.

"I.. I was trying… to make strawberry ice cream for the kids, the refrigerator isn't working, so I tried doing it with my first dance instead.. Oh my Ichigo, you should see your face!!" she added, still finding it difficult to stop laughing.

"Strawberry… Ice… Cream… ??"

"Yeah! It was your dad's idea, he's in the kitchen, eating with the children!" his wife answered, wiping the remainder of her tears.

Ichigo sighed gripping Zangetsu even more, Kurosaki Isshin is a deadman.


	2. Fairytale

For the Ichiruki BA FC Drabble Week

Theme: Fairytale

Words: 689

* * *

When Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia got married, they hardly got the chance to enjoy the grandeur celebration Kuchiki Byakuya has insisted them to have. No amount of free flowing vintage sakes or imported ('imported' meaning, from the human world) cakes and chocolate fountains can ease them of the anxiety of their forthcoming "honeymoon". 

It was Rukia's stubbornness and her Ni-sama's weird 'rules' that have kept them 'pure' all these nine loooooong freakin' years (four years as an official couple, with a one year engagement period). And by the time they have decided to pick on the location of their 'highly anticipated' honeymoon, Ichigo and Rukia both found themselves looking blankly at a messy piece of paper filled with options that has been violently crossed out after a few minutes of arguments (and occasional violence)

"Obviously, we cannot chose Soul Society, there's your weird brother AND Renji who will definitely try to screw things up!" the orange haired man exclaimed, crossing out their 'option number one' in the list.

"..Not to mention Zaraki taicho who will obviously chase you all day – and all night.." Rukia answered thoughtfully.

"..that freak.." mumbled Ichigo, a scowl starting to show on his face.

"Hueco Mundo's too hot… and sandy." Rukia continued, eyeing their limited options, looking over Ichigo's shoulder.

"..and I doubt if we'll have enough energy to fight all the hollows in there." She added, smacking Ichigo's head when she saw an evil glint at the corner of his eyes. "Shut up you pervert! I wasn't thinking about THAT.. yet" she said, crossing her arms across her chest, slightly blushing from what she have just said.

"Fine. Fine, so Hueco Mundo's out. What else do we have?" Ichigo replied, an amused smile gracing the corner of his lips.

"What about Paris? Or Canada? Or Hawaii? those are popular honeymoon destinations!" Rukia gleefully smiled, showing Ichigo various travel brochures.

"And where did you get these?" Ichigo asked suspiciously.

"Errr.. from your dad….?"

"Okay, if you want OUR honeymoon to be broadcasted live at the neighborhood, then maybe we should take HIS suggestions." Ichigo said, challenging Rukia to oppose him.

"FINE! I was just trying to help! You baka!" Rukia responded with a whack on Ichigo's head.

"Aw! Why do you always have to do THAT??" the orange haired man glared at his companion.

"Because its cute and WE still don't have a venue for our honeymoon, plus the fact that you're being annoying!!" the petite woman retorted, unperturbed by the taller guy's annoyance.

"Well, well, well.. what do we have here?? Lover's Quarrel eh?" a beaming blond haired former 12th division captain suddenly emerged from their door, holding his favorite fan.

"How can this small time businessman be of help?"

And so, that is how Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia ended up at Urahara Kisuke's basement, (since it's the only place where people like them can go undetected) staring and the 'honeymoon gift' the old bastard have left them.

"Ichigo, What re these costumes for?" Rukia puzzledly asked her orange haired husband, examining a lacey and shimmering white nightgown.

"Errr.. I--- think that's a fairy costume" Ichigo was able to utter his reply despite the vicious perverted thoughts running inside his mind. "Y-you see Rukia, errr… there's what we call 'role playing'.. and … err."

"Ohhhh.. You mean I can be a fairy.. or.. a princess.. or CHAPPY!!" the raven haired Mrs Kurosaki beamed, her eyes as big as plates – obviously unaware of the torture she is giving his husband.

" gulp y-yes Rukia.. err.. y-you can try all that costumes I guess.." Ichigo replied, droplets of sweat now forming on his orange nape.

"Let's do it!!!"

Meanwhile, just above the 'basement', a grinning Urahara Kisuke signaled a two-thumbs up sign to his dark haired friend.

"Isshin will be ecstatic when he sees this!" Urahara Kisuke said, beaming.

"Kisuke, Just give those kids a break.." Yorichi replied, rolling her eyes.

"How can I leave Soul Society's modern day fairy tale left undocumented?" the former 12th division captain grinned, adjusting the hidden camera through his control.

* * *

How was it? 


	3. Back Up

Title: Back Up

Words: 715

When Kurosaki Ichigo decided to ask Kuchiki Rukia's hand in marriage, she didn't hesitate to say 'yes', both of them found themselves crying after realizing that they are actually – and finally, getting married. But getting the blessing of Rukia's big brother is another story.

"Ichigo, there is no way Ni-sama would allow us to wed." the raven haired shinigami whispered softly, her eyes looking thoughtfully at the diamond studded ring Ichigo had just gave her.

"Like I would let him say 'no'… Zangetsu won't let him say 'no'." the orange haired shinigami reassuringly caressed the smaller woman's cheeks, earning him a tender smile.

That is why, Kurosaki Ichigo found himself staring at the 6th Division Captain, just before the crack of dawn the following day.

"You are a good fighter, Kurosaki. Just like your father centuries ago." The black haired chief of the Kuchiki clan started after Ichigo has stated his 'business', apparently amused that Rukia's brother doesn't seem too shocked nor to appalled to the idea.

"However, being a good fighter alone isn't enough. You have to work hard, you have to convince me and the rest of the Kuchiki household that you are a person of great honour and dignity, and that you are the most deserving to have Rukia's hand for marriage. Until then Kurosaki can you have my blessing." With that, he nodded his head, signalling his exit to the room. The orange haired shinigami struggled to keep his mouth shut, _You promised Rukia you'll be cool around her brother, you promise – or you have your left nut to pay for it. _Ichigo kept teling himself as he walked towards the door. _Convince Byakuya eh? Lets see about that. _He evilly smiled as he shunpoed to Sereitei, he will probably be needing the whole day to finish this "challenge".

* * *

Kuchiki Byakuya was awaken by the sound of hurried footsteps. Calmly walking at the door after putting on his robe, he asked the first servant he sees, who is currently holding a big box which is seemingly full of different sizes of papers.

"Kuchiki-sama, letters. We have been swamped with letters since late last night". The servant kneeled before handling out the box that she is carrying. "All of them addressed to you Kuchiki-sama" the servant continued.

"Please bring my tea to my office, and so are the rest of those letters." The servant hurriedly complied.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

_Byakushi,_

_If you won't let Ichi and midget-kun get married and have babies, I'm going to eat your house!_

_Yachiru Fukutaicho_

_xoxoxooxoxooxox _

_Kuchiki Taicho,_

_Aw, just let them wed so we can already drink the famous Kuchiki Sake!! _

_Cheers,_

_Kyuraku Taicho_

_PS: Nanao-chan and I can sponsor the flower arrangement if you like!_

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxox _

_Little Byakuya,_

_Come on, you wouldn't be a KJ and actually forbid those two to get married aren't you? I never thought that the once love sick Byakun could actually be a grinch! _

_Goddess of Flash_

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxox _

_Byakuya Taicho,_

_How can you say no to such a beautiful couple??_

_Code Name: Peacock Brow_

(Ofcourse I don't wanna be chopped by Senbonzakura)

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxox

_Byakuya,_

_Let them marry, I promise to kill the boy afterwards! _

_Zaraki_

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxox _

_Byakuya Taicho,_

_Just say YES. (Damn Matsumoto,I just wrote the freaking letter, you happy now?! Give me back my zanpakuto!!)_

_Hitsugaya_

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxox _

_Byakuya,_

_What would Hisana say if she's alive today? Don't be such a meanie. cough cough_

_Ukitake_

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxox _

_Byakuya Taicho,_

_Their babies would make a great specimen!_

_Mayuri (erased violently) ---Nemu_

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxox _

_Kuchiki Byakuya,_

_Son, screw the rules, just let them be happy!_

_Captain Commander Yamamoto_

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox _

Kuchiki Byakuya sighed. He has been reading the letters for a good three hours now, and there are still atleast three more boxes of unread letters sitting on his table, (He can even Renji's messy handwriting on the next pile of letter, but he isn't going to read it yet, it looks like his vice captain has poured his heart and soul on the four pager letter that he sent.) Sipping his tea, he let out yet another heavy sigh as he reached for a hell butterfly to send out a message.

* * *

"Ichigo!! You won't believe it Ichigo!! Ni-sama gave his permission!!! How did you do it??" an ecstatic Kuchiki Rukia jumped on the sleeping carrot head early morning – three days after his romantic proposal to her.

"He just knew that I wouldn't take no for an answer.." he groggily said, a genuine smile forming on his lips.

* * *

_Yep, Ichigo asked the WHOLE of Gotei 13 to back him up. Isn't he sweet?? _

Well, I hope you liked it. The topic for the day is "Letter/s" I hope you liked it. It isn't as funny as first two drabbles, but I really did enjoy writing this one.


	4. Chapter 4

When that bastard Keigo suddenly showed unannounced at the doctor's lounge at Ishida's hospital, Kurosaki Ichigo just knew that something REALLY bad is going to happen.

"Ichigooooooo!!! How come you married Kuchiki-san and didn't even invite ME your long time bestfriend??" a whining brown haired man exaggeratedly kneeled hugging the orange haired doctor's feet.

"I was married somewhere else, somewhere you aren't allowed to go, idiot." Ichigo said, trying to ignore a nagging instinct to kick the life out of his former classmate.

"S-somewhere… I.. am.. not … allowed… to … go…??" Ichigo's high school classmate repeated his words, obviously confused.

"YES. Somewhere you aren't allowed to go, baka! Now, do me a favour and shut up before I make you go somewhere you weren't supposed to go yet." The shinigami substitute threatened, his face glowering over the idiot looking Keigo.

Upon hearing this, Keigo suddenly jumped on his feet and accusingly pointed a finger to his strawberry friend "That's a lie!!! Admit it!! You didn't really married Kuchiki-san!! You are just trying to fool me! You knew I like Kuchiki-san too!!! You betrayed me Ichigo!!!"

"I said SHUT UP!!!!" an unexpected upper cut had blown Asano Keigo away from the very pissed Ichigo. _Oh damn, Atleast there's nobody here except for me and Ishida. _The orange haired shinigami silently thanked Kami for the lack of doctors in the lounge. Had Keigo been fooling like this in front of their colleagues, he will be forced – albeit gladly to put him to 'sleep'. He sighed as he watched Keigo land on Ishida's desk, whom - luckily for him seemed unaffected by his presence in his desk. He was still so engrossed with the laboratory gown he is sewing.

"Y..y..you too!! You married Orihime-chan!! You took away the bountiful valley of Gods away from me!!!" he said crying as if blaming the quincy for a very serious crime, - which was a very stupid move for him, for he obviously caught the attention of the black haired doctor.

"Nobody had ever talked about my _wife_ that way in front of me that had actually lived to see the morning." Ishida Uruuyu said in gritted teeth, looking dangerously at the man lying on his desk.

Keigo maybe an idiot, but he knows when a guy is about to commit the unpardonable sin of murder or not. So upon seeing Ishida's unsmiling face, and Ichigo's deadly glare, he has concluded that he doesn't want to become a live specimen for Karakura's renowned doctors.

"I..err…oh.. I'd love to stay and have a chit chat with you guys .. but.. err.. It's late, Mizuro's hooking me up with a hooker.. I mean.. a friend! Err.. bye bye?" with that, the brown haired man sprinted to the nearest door in just a few seconds.

"Err.. Ishida, what exactly are you doing..?" Ichigo was fast to ask his colleague upon seeing him draw his quincy bracelet.

"Do you really think I'm going to let that idiot get away with his stupid remarks about my WIFE…?" Ishida said in an emotionless tone.

"Err.. I.. really think we should be going to that orientation with the med praticumers.. don't you think so?... Ishida..?" Keigo may really be a big perverted baka, but surely, he doesn't want Ishida to waste his effort and some spirit particles on him, besides, Keigo is just being.. well.. Keigo.

For a moment, Ishida seemed to have considered changing into his quincy form, but as if reading Kurosaki's thoughts about Keigo's idiocy, he managed to let out a deep sigh and put away his quincy gadets.

"Fine. But that bastard should be banned from the hospital premises, or you will be performing konsoh on him in no time." With that, he left the doctor's lounge.

Kurosaki Ichigo stifled an amused laughter as he followed Karakura Hospital's Head Doctor. Keigo had really hit a nerve.

Meanwhile, Keigo Asano hadn't exactly left the hospital premises. Because of too much panic, he lost his way out and accidentally entered the hospital kitchen. With his oh-so-evil-but-stupid-mind at work, he have decided to get even to his 'former friends' who have not only taken away the two girls that he has been fantasizing all his high school life but also have threatened him with his life.

_Those two! After betraying me and robbing the two most gorgeous goddesses on Earth, they have the guts to threaten my life! They didn't even invite me in their weddings – and they call me their friend..?? Now we'll see.. _He thought as he reached something inside his backpack.

_Oh my precious Kuchiki-san, Orihime-chan… this one is for the two of you - and for those two traitors who have won your hearts in the end!!! _He dramatically muttered as he poured the contents in the hospital's water dispenser.

He was victoriously walking towards the door when it suddenly opened, exposing a big nasty-looking nurse who was obviously not pleased with Keigo's presence in the kitchen.

Needless to say, Keigo was kicked out of the hospital – with bruises and a broken rib.

* * *

Ishida Orihime was excitedly blabbering about her new recipe over the phone when Kurosaki Rukia suddenly fell quiet. 

"Rukia-san, did you… ?"

"Y-Yes Orihime. I felt their reiatsu too.."

"That is strange.. Uruuyu only have that kind of reiatsu when..." the brown haired wife of the last quincy confusedly said.

"Orihime, I'm sorry but I have to go… I'll get back to you later". Alarmed, the raven haired shinigami had hung up the phone before her friend could even reply.

"Go on Rukia, I'll take care of the kids" Kurosaki Isshin said, popping from behind the door.

"Thanks Pops." The former Kuchiki grimly said, as she swallows her pill.

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo and Uruuyu Ishida felt so weird yet so light. They have been feeling rather breezy for the past half an hour, it was as if they are having a really great dream with young sexy college girls dancing around them, half naked in their hospital uniform. That – coupled with some tingling sensation of being touched _everywhere _and being nuzzled again and again by some giggling girls. 

_Oh God, Why would I be dreaming in the middle of work..? _The black haired quincy's brain have been faltering, rapid thoughts has been crossing his mind vigorously.

_Oh yeah. This feels so good. Hey.. that med student looked like Rukia.. Oh.. she has Rukia's eyes.. and cheeks.. and body… Oh shit! _Kurosaki Ichigo also choked as he saw his wife in her shinigami uniform walking unsmilingly to him.

"O-..Ori-hi-me..?" Ichigo turned his head to see Ishida wearing the same shit-im-so-dead expression he has on his face.

The room felt awfully cold. With the med students running in the corner of the hospital's auditorium obviously scared of the sudden change in the atmosphere.

"R..Rukia… honey.. I.."

"Spell 49! Binding Light!" Rukia loudly incanted. Totally ignoring the horror in the med students faces.

"So.. Is this the kind of practicum program you have for college students ne, Uruuyu-kun?" Mrs Ishida asked, her face void of any emotion, her voice, dangerously sweet.

The two doctors found themselves paralyzed seating behind each other on the centre of the room.

"O..Orihime.. I.. I can.. explain.." Ishida tried to plead to his grim faced wife.

"Oh no, Uruuyu-kun.. Everything will be alright.." Orihime replied in a fake sweet voice. "Rukia-chan and I are gonna make things alright.. Won't we Rukia-chan?" she continued, glancing at her raven haired friend.

"But ofcourse, Orihime.. but ofcourse.." Rukia smiled – the kind of smile that makes Ichigo's heart palpitate with fear.

"Tsubaki!" a petal zoomed out of Mrs Ishida's hairpin.

"Oh shit! Ishida!!! Do something!!! She's your wife damnit!!" Ichigo shouted to the stiffened quincy.

"Oh don't worry honey, I have something for you too."

"Ichigo!! Your wife is looking wickedly at me..!!!" now, It's Ishida's turn to panic.

"Ban-kai"

"Your wife learned ban-kai?" the quincy blurted on top of his lungs, his face, as white as Rukia's dress and zanpakuto.

"I..B-ban-kai..?" Ichigo managed to mutter at he stared open-mouthed at his wife's white form.

Rukia just smiled.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

* * *

"Oh, that scream… would be your son" Kurosaki Isshin chuckled as he lifted his glass of Vodka. 

"I cannot believe you trained your daughter-in-law to achieve ban-kai without your son ever knowing it" The grayish-bluish haired man replied as touched his eye glasses.

"What can I say? I'm a good father-in-law, besides, it is not my fault that he cannot hide his reiatsu when he is being kinky.. same goes with your son." the man with the beard said winking at his old friend.

Ishida Ryuken smirked at his remark. Yes, reiatsu. How many times have he, Isshin and Kisuke had been in trouble because of their weird reiatsu everytime they are doing something really kinky and obscene. Too bad for their sons who have not only inherited this specific trait but for having sharp – and not to mention – powerful wives who would always know how to give a punishing blow to their dim-witted husbands.

"Here's to our stupid sons and to our lovely and formidable daughters-in-law" Isshin offered a toast.

"Cheers" Ryuken smiled as he took a sip of his vodka.

* * *

Well.. I hope you liked it.. XD 

I really enjoyed writing this one.. especially imagining Rukia and Orihime teaming up versus their poor husbands (giggles).

Oh, and that "thing" Keigo put in their water dispenser?.. its Vodka. Three bottles of Vodka. grins -and the big-nasty nurse who busted Keigo had unfortunately used the Vodka-infested water to make a juice for Ichigo, Ishida and the med students.


End file.
